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Then I had Brain Surgery

 "He . . . binds up their wounds." (Ps147:3) This is me coming home from the following adventure... Remember when I told you I was going to be able to delay the need to have brain surgery? Just kidding!  On Monday March 7th, I had a seizure at home which resulted in a fall.  That night, Kendra and I decided that it wasn't a good idea for her to have to manage this situation at home, wondering if I might have another seizure and / or fall, So she took me to the ER at UCLA, where I got a fresh MRI of my brain.   The MRI showed that two tumors which had received radiation a few weeks prior had grown in size (#notallowed).  This growth led the brain experts (is it just me or do others agree that “Brain Expert” would be a cool thing to have on a business card?) to conclude that the seizure had probably been caused by these enlarged tumors (also #notallowed).  Prior plans to put off surgery?  Cancelled.  These free loaders have been given enough ...
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Gratitude for an anniversary

"I found the one whom my soul loves." (Song of Solomon 3:4)

Dear Family and Friends,

Kendra and I celebrated our 17th anniversary Saturday (August 11), and we had fun with the whole family telling stories and remembering many great moments. 
Kendra is reacting like a good sport to a tradition at Marine
weddings - getting swatted on the backside with a sword
and being told, "Welcome to the Marine Corps, Mrs. Tierney!"
This year it was the second time we celebrated our anniversary fully under the shadow of cancer.  The first one was in 2007.  By the time 2008 rolled around, things really seemed to have lined up in our favor, that I had beaten it and that we had it in the rear view mirror.  Given how long it took to come back though, I still really think of it as though I had actually beaten it.  Anyway, I've spent time this weekend thinking about how great it has been to have Kendra at my side both times.  She's as much a part of this whole story as I am.

The first time around, I had the interferon side effects to deal with (not badmouthing, just relating facts).  We had a friend who had gone through interferon for melanoma, and his wife pulled Kendra aside and encouraged her to be the most positive person in the room for the good of our family.  She took that and ran with it and hasn't slowed down through any of this cancer stuff.  It's pretty incredible to have someone making that sacrifice for me.  If she's been worried, scared, sad, or mad about cancer, I haven't been aware of it. In both episodes she's just been sanguine and rock solid, and that's a huge comfort.  Any stress or anxiety I have about this is mine to manage, because it's not coming from her.

Another way to put this is that through these episodes, Kendra has given me what I needed most.  This is one of those areas where her own example has pushed me the most to bring my game up to hers.  I know what I need to do, and can see it coming...and I still comically whiff like I'm swinging at a nasty wiffle ball pitch.  What, is it just me?  Anyway, still working on it and it just makes me tremendously grateful to have found the person who was that perfect fit for me.

With fortitude and prayers for you,

Jim

Comments

  1. jenAugust 13, 2018 at 3:51 PM

    My former father-in-law has been fighting cancer for more than 8 years now and my former mother-in-law has been incredibly negative about it and how horrible their luck is and how she's watching the best person in the world die. (I've been divorced from their son for two years now and I still care very much for my former father-in-law, so I keep tabs on him through my former husband and various family members who are still talking to me. He is, actually, a wonderful person and it really is hard that he got hit with this type of cancer.) I've watched her alienate the people around her, resulting in her self-fulfilling prophecy coming true that people would abandon her and she'd have to deal with it alone. (She also has a martyr complex that is legendary.)

    My kiddo deals with several chronic conditions, has almost died a few times, and I can tell you that keeping a positive outlook and attitude is the only thing that has gotten me through his stuff. (We just spent 4 days in the local AMAZING CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL for surgery.) If I didn't look for the positive in everything, I don't know how I could keep going.

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  2. FortitudineAugust 13, 2018 at 4:12 PM

    I really pray for people who go through this sort of thing without foundation in faith or who are bitter about it.

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    Replies
    1. DaniAugust 19, 2018 at 8:46 PM

      Happy Anniversary to you and Kendra!

      I just received word that a longtime friend has, barring a miracle, 3 to 7 months to live. She's an atheist, or agnostic at best, and before the cancer, suffered from anxiety and other conditions. The cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment failures have put her anxiety into overdrive. I haven't spoken to her yet, but I can only imagine her mental state.

      I admire the strength of your faith and hope that, should I be put to the test, I will have the same fortitude. While I admit my Catholic faith has been a bit shaky in adversity (I suffer from anxiety as well) it has always remained my foundation. My friend Kathi doesn't have that. I pray for her to die in peace and in God's grace.

      God bless you and keep you strong! You are in my prayers.

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    2. FortitudineAugust 19, 2018 at 10:52 PM

      Thank you! I'll pray for Kathi, too.

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  3. KatAugust 13, 2018 at 4:28 PM

    Happy Anniversary to you and Kendra! May the Lord bless you with many more years together!

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  4. UnknownAugust 13, 2018 at 8:43 PM

    Happy Anniversary to a beautiful and inspiring couple! I am so lifted up by your posts. Offering my Rosary for you all tonight.

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